But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.
-Thomas Jefferson
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.
-Thomas Jefferson
Hello everyone! I starting to think again about the issue of “ethnic” first names and the effect it may or may not have on job prospects. As the holder of such a name, I’ve never received the oh-I-didn’t-know-you-were-black look from a potential interviewer. With me, you know who’s coming. In a way, I think this is better. Do I want to get a call back from a company who automatically assumes people with certain names are less qualified than those named Jane Smith? When someone calls me back for a second interview, I know that they have looked past my difficult-to-pronounce name to my qualifications and have decided to consider me for the position. And isn’t this what a meritocracy is supposed to be about?
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
First, let me apologize for being incog-negro. I have no excuses, I was (and am not) pregnant, and I appreciate you for still keeping me on your RSS feeds. Now back to business…
I’ve decided to start a new series called Assaults on My Blackness to muse on situations where I feel that my African American personhood is infringed upon. As always, please share if you’ve faced similar situations or if you think I’m being too sensitive.
This inaugural post was inspired by a post I recently read on Black Girl Long Hair titled “White Mother’s Opinion on Touching Daugther’s Natural Hair” where a white mother of a black child expressed her frustration of other whites who wanted touch her daughter’s hair. I love how she said that others thought they had an “in” since the mother was white. It reminded me of a situation when I was out my younger sister, who has sisterlocks. We were talking with an older white woman and her much other mother, who seemed to have some cognitive issues. Naturally, the subject came to hair. The mother then started to touch my sister’s hair. Luckily, the daughter quickly pulled her mother’s hand away while apologizing. What really killed me though was my sister’s reply: “It happens all the time.”
Why should it be acceptable for my hair to be touched? Some might say that it’s a compliment or that it can be a learning experience. Yes – if you ask first. Then depending on your appearance of personal cleanliness, the closeness of our relationship, or the position of Jupiter will you be allowed to touch my hair. But just like a pregnancy woman’s belly, my hair (or any other part of my body) is not public property, so hands off. Leave your thoughts in the comments.
I got back from a long weekend away and I was greeted by the news that a deal on the debt celling was reached. Whoo-hoo!… until I learned that the deal does not include raising taxes on job creators the wealthiest Americans. Instead, we have spending cuts and a promise for a special committee to investigate how to increase tax revenues. Forgive me for not jumping up and down, but to me the score seems to be: Republicans:1, Democrats:0, Obama:-1. While sometimes you need to take what you can get, did the Democrats really fight hard enough?
As a side note, I had a thought about how often government is compared to a family. Like every family, the analogy goes, the government must balance it’s budget in order to keep the family solvent. Sometimes, you need to cut the cable. True. However, other times the answer isn’t slice and dice the budget. Sometimes, you need to get a different/better/additional job and bring in more money. Just a thought.
Hey people. So I read in today’s NY Times an article about Black New Yorkers moving back the South after many years of northern migration. Many cited cheaper housing, job opportunities, and a desire to live a simpler lifestyle as reasons for their move. I’ve know a lot of people who’ve moved back for these reasons and seem to be happy. Me, I’m not so convinced. Yes, I cry a little inside when I hear how for the money I pay in rent, I could have my own McMansion complete with 40 acres and a mule. Still, I feel that there are reasons why we left the South. I’m not sure it’s safe to go back yet.
In addition, is Atlanta really the promised land? Housing may be cheap, but I’m not sure how far the South has come when Atlanta’s metro system seems to lack adequate funding because it’s mainly used by Blacks. But perhaps my fears are misplaced. If you’re a Yankee transplant, let me know how you find the New South.
This weekend I finally got around to watching the Royal Wedding. Yes, I taped it. To get the girly stuff out the way: I loved Kate’s… I mean her royal highness’s dress. And Pippa’s outfit is making me rethink the only-the-bride-wears-white rule.
Now that’s out of the way. But if you were paying attention to the sermon by the Bishop of London, I think he made an excellent point about marriage. To paraphrase, he noted that in our modern times many turn away from God and expect our spouses to fulfill the needs that only He can. I think even believers can get confused in this regard. Marriage is great and wonderful, but it is the union on two flawed individuals. My husband is perfect (for me), but can’t replace God. God loves unconditionally, will always be there for you, and would take out the trash whenever He would be asked. ; )
Hmm… maybe I make being Black too hard on myself.
In my previous post on the topic, I shared my struggles with getting angry in public out of fear of confirming the “angry Black woman” stereotype. However I recently noticed that I do things in order to avoid being stereotyped as a poor black woman. Disclaimer: I am very frugal with my money and have no need or desire to shop at Bloomingdales to prove a point. It’s in the smaller things that I have a problem with.
The other day I went to get my eyebrows done (note: the details have been changed to protect my embarrassment). Now, for what is normally a $7 job (I prefer threading to waxing) I was charged $9. I made some weak protest, but at the end of the day I gave her the $9 plus tip. I know, I know, what’s wrong with me. $2 can still get you a slice of pizza in some parts of New York. But after some soul-searching, I realized that I don’t want to be seen as poor. Do I really think someone will turn around and say, “I knew that you were a poor black woman just like the rest of you people. You probably have 8 kids by 9 different men, collect welfare, and drive a Cadillac, don’t you?” So, as you can read, I’m still a work in progress. One a positive note, I successful fought an extra charge for cream cheese at Dunkin Donuts. Small victories help, although a future post should probably focus on dealing with pride…
For those of you who aren’t familiar, this year marks the 150th anniversary of the start of the Civil War. The New York Times has been doing an excellent series called “Disunion” which provides a background of the events leading up to war. While reading today’s piece about how Lincoln debated whether he should try to keep Virginia in the Union, I was struck by the speech given by the Vice President of the Confederacy, Alexander Stephens. In light of the anniversary, there have been some who argue that the Civil War was about states’ rights, not slavery. It seems Mr. Stephens would beg to differ:
The new constitution has put at rest, forever, all the agitating questions relating to our peculiar institution of African slavery as it exists amongst us, and the proper status of the negro in our form of civilization. This was the immediate cause of the late rupture and present revolution. Jefferson in his forecast, had anticipated this, as the “rock upon which the old Union would split.” He was right. But whether he fully comprehended the great truth upon which that rock stood may be doubted. The prevailing ideas entertained by him … were that the enslavement of the African was in violation of the laws of nature; that it was wrong in principle, socially, morally, and politically… . Those ideas, however, were fundamentally wrong. They rested upon the assumption of the equality of races. This was an error. It was a sandy foundation, and the government built upon it fell when the “storm came and the wind blew.”
Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its corner- stone rests upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first in the history of the world based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth… . Many governments have been founded upon the principle of the subordination of certain classes of the same race; such were and are in violation of the laws of nature. Our system commits no such violation. With us, all of the white race, however high or low, rich or poor, are equal in the eye of the law. Not so with the negro. Subordination is his place. He, by nature, or by the curse against Canaan, is fitted for that condition which he occupies in our system … . I have been asked, what of the future? It has been apprehended by some that we would have arrayed against us the civilized world. I care not who or how many they may be against us, when we stand upon the eternal principles of truth, if we are true to ourselves and the principles for which we contend, we must triumph. [Emphasis mine]
I’ve been watching the protests in Wisconsin with a lot of interest. As a government employee, I connect with their struggle to maintain their collective bargaining rights. However, a few thoughts came to me while listing to the general debates about unions. Many have argued that unions are not necessary or that they stifle competition and innovation. As an (non-active) union member, I will wholeheartedly agree that unions have their problems: arcane hiring (and firing) rules, civil services test that are never finalized… I could go on. However unions are still necessary - maybe even more so - because they are the last counterweight to Big Business, as outlined by the recent book “Winner-Take All Politics: How Washington Made the Rich Richer and Turned its Back on the Middle Class.” Without unions, who will lobby for the rights of workers such as safe working conditions, reasonable pay, and adequate health benefits (since we can’t seem to get true universal health care)? Now you may say that the protesters aren’t working in mines, but in offices and classrooms. True. But what is the goal of any business: maximize profits and keep costs low. And who suffers because of this mentality: workers.
Another striking thing that I’ve noticed is the jealousy that has surrounded the debate from workers in the private sector: ”I don’t have benefits/job security/fair pay, so you shouldn’t either”. Instead of picking at each other, all workers need to stand together to ensure that everyone receives the benefits they need (and deserve) to live a healthy, secure, and productive life (I know it might sound a little Marxist… workers of the world unite!). So I for on will continue to root on the Wisconsin protesters for them to stand their ground. Thanks for reading.
